"Parents Taking Over Student Projects"

The planning and construction phase.

When I was an elementary school teacher it was really obvious to me which of my students’ projects were actually parent projects.  Perfect lettering on presentation boards, museum quality modeling, a preponderance of store-bought items, and topics that only adults would conceive were all “dead giveaways”.

Good-intentioned parents, wanting their children to earn good grades or compare favorably to their classmates’ efforts, often resort to taking over school projects.  Maybe you remember feeling helpless as your own mom or dad took over one of your school projects when you were a child.  It is a common mistake too many of us parents make, but let’s give ourselves a break.  Our motives are pure, are they not?   We’re just trying “to help our kids”.

But how much help is too much help?  This is my litmus test: I know I’m helping too much when I’m denying my child the opportunity to gain the many skills required to take a project from start to finish. 

I acknowledge stepping back and not helping too much is easier said than done.  I had to keep the control-freak that’s in all of us to one degree or another in check just last week when I helped my son Max with his science project.  His teacher assigned him to create a model of a biome.  If you already know what a biome is, kudos to you.  I admit I didn’t have a clue.  So I looked up the definition.  A biome is a “distinct group of life forms that share a particular habitat.” You know like a desert or tropical rain forest.  Anyway, Max decided he wanted to create a model of a deciduous forest.  Why?  Max explained, “Skunks live there and I want to make a skunk.”  Kids keep it simple don’t they?

The skunk hanging out in Max's deciduous forest.

Anyway, as we worked on the project, I kept asking myself if I was helping too much and tried my best to resist the urge to do so.  Afterwards, I reflected on our experience together and came up with the following guidelines that will hopefully guide you through your own child’s next school project:

• ·       Give guidance and direction, but don’t take the lead.  You’ll know you’ve gone too far when you hear your child complaining “but that’s not what I want to do!”
• ·       Help your child understand the directions for the assignment by reading them over together and asking your child to tell you what the specifics of the assignment are using his or her “own words”.  The grade a teacher gives a project is usually based on how closely a student’s final project aligns to the criteria given in the directions.
• ·       It’s okay to assist your child in doing the research necessary to learn about his or her project topic, but make sure the child learns from the material gathered.  For example, I showed Max how to do an Internet search on his topic.  We looked at many different websites together.  Then Max decided which ones we should print and then read them on his own.  He wrote down ideas for his model and even made a sketch.
• ·       Guide your child through the many stages of planning a project, but follow his or her lead.  I had Max tell me his ideas and then I asked him questions such as, “How might you make a waterfall?”  “What materials will you need?”  We made a list as we worked through the planning stage together.  We tried to think of creative ways to use materials we already had around the house so that Max could take credit for most of his product instead of WalMart.
• ·       Don’t think the final product has to look perfect.  It’s a child’s project after all and the teacher will judge it accordingly.  I did give Max a lot of help with the base of his project because it was beyond his ability at age nine to do so.  But when it came to what was put on the base, Max was “large and in charge”.  He also decided what would go where.  When he needed help making his vision a reality, he directed his siblings or me on what he needed us to do.  For example, he found twigs in our back yard and cut out “leaves” from construction paper, but he needed me to hot glue the leaves on the twigs since he isn’t allowed to use a hot glue gun yet.
• ·       Don’t forget to have fun!  It’s easy to get stressed out under the pressure of a project deadline.  Start the project well before it’s due so that the learning experience is a positive one for everyone involved.
• ·       And finally don’t forget to celebrate your child’s finished product.  Take photos, brag on the good qualities, and tell your child how proud you are of his or her effort. 

Follow these guidelines and your children are sure to turn projects that they can honestly call their very own!     

Classmates admire Max's finished product!